I am a pretty joyous person. I laugh and find humor easily, especially humor in myself. I am one of those that crack themselves up. That’s a good trait to have when it seems like either I’m doing something crazy or someone around me is – at least we can laugh.
My title for today’s blog cracked me up. Every time I have to tell someone (I choose to tell someone) I am a perfectionist, I have to laugh and make a joke and say something like, “I’m a frustrated perfectionist!” or “I’m a perfectionist on the inside.” I can imagine that someone on the outside looking at my life would not imagine that about me. If you just look at my life, my laundry, my to do list that feels like one step ahead two steps behind, my drawers and closets….you might feel the same. Even Hubby Dear thinks that’s funny because he doesn’t see it in me and since I’m laughing and making jests, at least some of the time, it sure doesn’t look as if I’m struggling with perfectionism, but oh, am I.
So while my humorous nature does help, there are still plenty of times when inside I’m a worried mess. I’d like to ask everyone around me where they would rate themselves on the perfectionism scale. How hard are any of us on ourselves? I imagine we are a lot harder on ourselves that we let on. I think stay-at-home mother’s can struggle significantly because often they can feel as if no one sees them and the work they do each day. How many times have a worked all day and it looked on the surface if someone were to drop by that I didn’t “do” anything? But that kind of thinking is looking for the value in someone else’s opinion or pat on the back. Those things are nice, but I don’t want those things to be necessary.
What we are used to seeing, I think, are those personalities that show the appearance of perfection and that makes sense to us. My friends and family that seem to get everything done and everything in line make sense if they describe themselves as a perfectionist. I understand if they shrug their shoulders and say they have a “Type A” personality – a little about personality types here.
I’m seeking to drop my inner perfectionism – my inner critic – so it only makes sense for me to drop it within these pages as well. I’ve only written one post. This will be number two. I don’t have pictures yet, and I can’t figure out how to do an about page. It will all be fine. I like to write. I like to share. I like to encourage people. Somehow in the mist of doing those things I hope to become more authentic in my own life.
Change your thoughts and you change your world. — Norman Vincent Peale
Here’s to the journey!